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Fred Investigates Rumors at School
Fred Investigates Rumors at School is the 58th episode of the Classic FRED YouTube series, uploaded onto the Fred YouTube channel on February 23, 2011. Description Fred returns to school from winter break to discover kids have been spreading rumors about him. Plot It's about Fred returns to school after the winter break. He was video chat with his friends that rumors that Fred doesn't fell in love with Judy anymore. Transcript Fred:' '(smiling, ecstatic) Hey, it’s Fred! And it’s 2011! (jazzy) Work it out! Two! Zero! Double-double-double-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d double one. Well, what was really cool about this particular winter break was that my mom let us get a real Christmas tree! Every other Christmas, I always have to make a tree out of the naked skeletons of all the dead hamsters that died in this house. (matter-of-factly) BUT… it turns out that all the other boy and girls at my school did not spend the Christmas break like I did, (angrily) who just happened to spend spread mean, untrue, liar-type rumors about me to everyone in the school!! (panting angrily) I DON’T KNOW WHY THEY DID IT! I REALLY DON’T! (blankly staring, speaking monotonously) But...they did...and that’s all that matters. The rumors…were that me, Fred Figglehorn, (sadly) isn’t in love with Judy anymore! (embarrassed) And wets the bed sometimes still. (holding a litter-box scooper) You know, I don’t know what you guys think about this; but to be honest, I think it’s totally ridiculous. But rest assured. Because, me, Fred, I’m gonna get to the bottom of this. (scoops some gravel from the cat with rabies’s litter-box) The slimy, un-kept, litter-box bottom-of-it, okay? (starting up an Apple Mac) I have friends all over the school that will do anything--and I mean anything--to get answers for their boss and CEO, Mr. Figglehorn. (sighs) Kevin thinks he’s so ''clever, and… You know, I’m not saying that he did it, but we all know that he did, and he is going to 'PAY! But I’m gonna try to settle this in a peaceful manner with no violence, okay? (turning on face-cam) All right, come in, Falcon! Who did this to me, man? Who did it? '''Falcon: (via face-cam) Fred, I have some bad news. When I was digging through the dumpster for clues, all I found was my missing shoe and a deck of cards. Fred: 'What kind of detective work is that?! Why am I even giving up ''my wages to pay you? '''Falcon: (via face-cam) You aren’t. Fred: (realizing his employee has a point) Oh yeah. But, uh, you still work for me, okay? Brass Knuckles, whatcha got? Brass Knuckles:' '(via face-cam) Hey, Fred. The word is everywhere with the band students. From trumpets to flutes. ''Everyone is saying you don’t like Judy anymore.'' Fred: '''(sighs) This is worse than I thought. Whatcha got, Secret Lunchbox? What’s the word in the cafeteria? '''Secret Lunchbox:' '(via face-cam) Sandwiches are stale, the salads are soggy, and this story stinks the back of the lunch line. But I ''did hear that the nasty note was delivered by text message.'' Fred: '''(exponentially encouraged) Secret Lunchbox, you are a genius, my employee! You are a genius! Your boss is complimenting you! (Secret Lunchbox is seen walking off-camera chewing on a chicken nugget with a bored look, like he doesn't appreciate his work) '''Fred: All right. Well, Agent X, what can we do now knowing that it delivered by text message, huh? Agent X:' '(via face-cam) Not much without a cell phone interception device. Fred: (demanding) Why can’t you do that, man? Agent X: (via face-cam, honestly) I’m just a kid. Fred: Right. You are just a kid. (in a serious tone) But, you know, you’re working for a man, okay? You’re working for a full-grown man! (in the kitchen, angrily, camera close-up on Fred’s bared teeth, zoom out to his scowl-adorned face) If Kevin thinks he’s going to get away with this… Well, he’s not! (coolly) Well, don’t worry! Because once I catch him with his lie-infested phone, this is all gonna be settled once and for all. Don’t even worry what I’m gonna do with the big guy. But, let me tell ya this. (softly, but threatening; he means business) It ain’t...''gonna be pretty. Okay? (back on the Mac) Fluffy 2, is Plan: Reverse the Curse in full-swing? '''Fluffy 2':' '(via face-cam) It’s in full-swing on the playground. I’ve been telling kids about how much you still love Judy, but most kids just tell me to get lost. Fred: (interrupting) Ah, don’t mind the little midget kids. (dramatically placing a hand on his forehead) They don’t understand what true love is. Q-Tip, help me here. Who did this? Q-Tip: (via face-cam) There’s another player in this game, another man. Not Kevin. Got any other enemies? Fred: '''(demanding, angrily) Another man? After mah woman, Judy?! ''ANOTHER MAN?!? HUH?!?!?'' (softly, considering, optimistically) Well, there was that funny-looking kid named Doug, but she would never go for someone like that. 'Q-Tip: '(via face-cam, cryptically) Just watch your back. '''Fred: (on the verge of tears, sadly, stammering) This-this-this is too much right now. (starting to cry) What does this new boy have that I don’t? He’s probably skinnier. I’m never gonna eat another Big Mac again! (back on the Mac) Who is this, or maybe even, what is this? Kid 7:' '(via face-cam, trying to be encouraging) No need to cry, Fred. There’s a thousand more Judies from where your Judy came from. Fred: (shouting) I don’t want a robot Judy! I want the real ''one!! Monarch, what do you have for me? (Monarch is actually a two-girl operation. Each girl has a camera, and while one half of the screen shows its respective camera as active, the other side displays a paused and darkened image of the other girl.) '''Monarch A':' '(via face-cam) I’m 10.5 steps ahead of you. I got my hands on Judy’s cell phone and took pictures of the text to have them analyzed at the lab. Monarch B: (via face-cam) I’ve just about finished. It looks like the evildoer is… ''(Fred nods expectantly, Monarch B is shocked at her discovery) This can’t be true. Fred, it was you who sent her the text!'' Fred: (completely taken aback) WHAT?! Why would I ever do that? Like I would ever tell Judy that I-- (looks at his phone and a look of realization crosses his face) Oh. It was me. AH! The phone texted “beat you” instead of “meet you”; so it wasn’t even my fault! It was the machine’s fault! (angrily) That right there is why I hate all machines and robots, mostly washing machines. Washing machines wash away the happiness out of my clothes. (texting to Judy) I’ll text Judy right now and inform her that it was the phone, not me. (screen cuts to Fred flopping down into bed, sighing in relief. Case closed. But he suddenly opens his eyes when he feels a weird sensation.) Fred: Why is my bed wet and why does it smell funny? (Fred) Fred’s Mom:' '(offscreen, angry and frustrated) You better not have urinated all over your mattress again, Fred! You BETTER NOT’VE!!! Characters * Fred Figglehorn * Fred's Mom (voice only) * Falcon (via face-cam) * Brass Knuckles (via face-cam) * Secret Lunchbox (via face-cam * Agent X (via face-cam) * Fluffy 2 (via face-cam) * Q-Tip (via face-cam) * Kid #7 (via face-cam) * Monarch #1 (via face-cam) * Monarch #2 (via face-cam)